I want to make it known, that I learned all of this in a program through my youth group called, "True Love Waits". These are obviously not all of my own thoughts, they are a compilation of thoughts from me, and other people who helped set up the True Love Waits program. A few different websites also contributed!
Today, we're going to start a three part series on love. And the different types of love. So often we misinterpret what love is, and how we feel. Especially since the English word for love is used so broadly, we're going to take a few posts to distinguish between the different types of love used in the New Testament.
The first type of love:
Storge - familial love.
It is evident, for example, in the warm affection that parents have toward their children. A deep and abiding affection. Most of us have felt this from our parents at one point in time, if not everyday. We all have used the phrase, "Love you like a brother/sister!" I think this is the easiest type of love for us to understand, because we have grown up feeling this love.
The second type of love:
Philia – Friendship love
We recognize philia and its meaning from the name Philadelphia, that is, the city of brotherly love. This is the love of friendship, best friends, and the fellowship of being with those people you enjoy.
Although philia is wonderful, it too is not reliable since it is also held captive by the sifting sands of situation as well as by ours and other's perceptions and expectations. Unfortunately, we probably all know of a friendship which waned or was severed because of time, distance, harsh words, how someone interpreted another's actions, etc. We have all felt like our friendship love was not reciprocated in the proper manner, This is why when the New Testament commends love, philia is the not the word which is used.
Philia is the kind of bond seen in Scripture between David and Jonathan. It's the kind of love talked about by Jesus, who said: "Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends." Philia is the embodiment of everything a true, meaningful friendship represents. Maybe we should try to pursue a Philos love with our 'prospective significant other' at first, before we even think about an Eros love (this will be discussed next time). Relationships that start out with a Philos love before becoming lovers often have more successful relationships. And that's what we're getting at right? We're trying to have relationships without being idiots!
Philos love is a love based on "give-and-take", where two people benefit each other in a mutual way. One person is still concerned with what she/he can take, but at the same time is also concerned with her/his partner's benefit and therefore gives back in return. Philos love is a mutual, "give-and take" relationship.
Next time we'll discuss Eros love. I think the love we are most familiar with, and unfortunately try to build too much of the relationship on.
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